Good evening dear menions, on this crisp Thanksgiving Day Eve. Many of our most loyal followers live overseas on this glorious American holiday (shoutout to the pious Brother Gary in Dubai, who relentlessly spreads the good word to all the lost heretics in the Middle East!) and so cannot be here to celebrate with the family, but we send them all our omnipotent best wishes from afar.

This holiday is about family, love, and giving selflessly to others. Instead of watching the plebian sport of football and pigging out on feasts of the avian persuasion (that may or may not have bird flu), we hope that all menions will consider how they can best give selflessly to the church. There are many ways to contribute to the mission of the family, but the most valuable ways to be of service are to give of one’s time and worldly assets.

We urge everyone in the Join Our Concubine community to spend some time tomorrow spreading the mission of the family to all of those heathens who may be within our midst. Can ye dareth to believe that there are lost souls out there for the taking? It is true, dear menions, and it is sad. With the year ending upon us, and a new year to come, we must remember that life is fleeting. We simply cannot afford to let these wandering sheep walk straight into the slaughterhouse. WE ARE THE TEMPLE. The truth. The guiding light. It is imperative that we show them the way.

It is also incredibly important that the church continues to operate at its highest and unfortunately, it is simply not possible without the monetary donations of its members. Those Taco Tuesdays events don’t pay for themselves! Last Amanda and I checked (which was this morning), we have been unable to conjure tacos to rain from the skies but do not fret, your tireless leaders practice our taco manifestations daily! Until then, we need all of you to be diligent in the giving of your tithes and offerings to the family.

It is proclaimed in the Bible that one must give 10% of one’s earnings. The church of Join Our Concubine cannot continue to save souls with your mere 10% crumbs. No, alas, we need your BREAD. And tortillas as well, as those are bread too. High Priestess Amanda has been called upon to the great city of Chicago this December for a leadership convention and she must arrive in the finest transportation. A cult leader of her stature simply cannot abide driving up in a Ford.

Giving thanks. Giving love. Giving monetary assets of value. Blessings from on high! The omnipotent leaders Amanda and Daneka wish all of you a magnificent and joyous holiday.

Namaste,

Daneka and Amanda – High Priestesses of the 1st Order. 

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